The Culture of Honour

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What Honour is

Honour is when we rightly relate to the dignity of a person, as someone who has been bought back with the blood of Jesus.  Heaven views the significance of every person because Jesus died for them not because of what they have done. My worth and your worth and every person’s worth is the same a Jesus’. 

Honour is a conduit for God’s life:

  • Long life and for life to go well – honour your parents Exodus 20:12
  • Prayers listened to by God – Honour your wife 1 Peter 3:7
  • Get a prophetic blessing – Embrace a prophet
  • The 5 fold (Ephesians 4) – brings God’s Kingdom

Honour postures you to receive the aspect of life flowing through the person or entity that you are honouring. 

The Culture of Honour

Creating an ecosystem of honour where the life of heaven can be contained and sustained. What culture is: a self-­sustaining ecosystem of collective norms of an associated group. It is made up of the shared beliefs, values and behaviours of the associated group. Danny Silk pinpoints the Culture of Honour as to the reason why Bethel has experienced a sustained revival for the last 20 years.If it is true that God’s life flows through honour, and it is true that the culture of honour sustains this flow of life, then as Kingdom people, who desire to see the Kingdom of God on earth, we should want to know what sustains honour. If we want the life of heaven on earth and keep it there then we need to learn the culture of honour. 

1. The Pillar of Love

There is one thing that the Christians and non-Christians agree on, “Life is all about Love.” 

The Apostle John tells us the source of all love.   

… love comes from God.1 John 4:7

Love in the real sense of the word can be traced back to God. God is the source of love. It is His very essence, His being, His character. It is who He is at His very core. God is L.O.V.E.

Love looks like Jesus. He is perfect theology

.>>> Conditional love is agreement based

In other words honour in the world is something dispensed to the people that we like or approve of or we are required to approve. Danny Silk says that “you don’t know if you have honour in a relationship until there is a problem. Once there is a problem in a relationship then you will discover if you are truly capable of honouring “all people”, like we are commanded to by Scripture. 

Loving the “Me” in you = agreement

Honour that is dependant on my liking of someone or approval of someone is really an expression of agreement.When honour is related to agreement it causes our fragile relationships to fly apart when we show each other who we are. I don’t know what to do with people who do not remind me of me, except create distance and replace them with people like me. Danny Silk’s relational book is titled KYLO. It stands for Keep Your Love On.

The premise of the book is that if you want to achieve the objective of a relationship then you need to live from a decision to live with your love jammed on.

Two goals in a relationship, connection or disconnection. Couples will say they are working towards the goal of connection but very often, despite what they say, they are in fact working towards the opposite goal of disconnection. He discovered that the proof in the pudding of what they were really working to build was by seeing the skills they were utilizing around their ultimate goal. Jesus said, “You will know them by their fruit…”If we have a goal to love, love needs to be “on” all the time, towards all people.

2. THE PILLAR OF FREEDOM 

The Apostle John is one of my favourite Bible characters. He was a fisherman. Fishermen were famous for settling arguments with their fists first. Jesus named John and his brother James the sons of thunder. This was not because of an IBS issue. 

John self described himself as the “One that Jesus loved.” He fell asleep on the heart of the breast of Jesus the night before Jesus went to the Cross. The Son of Thunder had become the Apostle of Love. John was the only one of the 12 disciples that lived out their full life. The rest were martyred.  At the end of His life, aged in his 80s they used to bring him in on a cot.

“God is love, in Him there is no darkness at all.”

This man who had come an expert in what love was had this observation about love. 

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18

In the church we have made agreement an idol. In fact agreement is a guise for power.  When I recognize that you are just as powerful as I am in this relationship, it changes our interaction.

Friendship

Jesus removed power from His relationships when He said:

I no longer call you servants, … I have called you friends…John 15:15

 How much power does a friend have over their friend? None!

Honour creates a dynamic where we have to choose each other and then we protect that choice. We are both powerful people.

The number one enemy to freedom is “Fear.” When we get afraid, anxious it mounts our capacity to exercise freedom. And when we are operating in fear, we are out of control, and we are trying to get control—both of which are the opposite of freedom. 

True freedom is driven by self-control, which is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. As Paul said,

 “God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:17).

The great news is that control is permissible in our connections with people. The bad news is that the only one you get to control in a relationship is “You”. 

Self control is critical for maintaining a culture of honour. Self control is at the core of being a powerful person. Self-control means that you can tell yourself what to do, and you can make yourself do it. It sounds simple enough, but telling yourself what to do and obeying yourself can be quite an accomplishment! For most of us, it’s a good day when we obey ourselves…

3. THE PILLAR OF TRUTH

We are afraid of Truth in the Church.

  • If people really see me >>> am I safe?
  • If I am real with people >>> am I safe?

Jesus said though that “The truth will set you free”

Truth is necessary in a Culture of Honour because it strengthens and protects honour. If we are truly exercising freedom, then people who are going to do things differently to us will do things, unintentionally and sometimes intentionally that will effect us.When I show you what is going on inside of me I leave you with some valuable information about how something is effecting me. Part of me being powerful is that I will take responsibility to let you know how your behaviour is affecting me. 

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs 27:6

Boundaries are a part of honour

Another thing we are not so good at in Church are boundaries. If I have had a conversation with someone and they continue to act in a damaging way towards me I will put a boundary in place.Boundaries can be lowered when repentance is in place. Repentance looks like something. It is a change in behaviour. Trust needs to be earned back. That takes time. A continued behaviour in the same direction. 


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